"I played a practice round with Hubert [Green] the other day, and when we got to the ninth green, I heard a fan say, "Why does Hubert have two caddies?""

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The reason I don't play golf is because I was a caddie when I was 13. Women never gave up a golf ball that was lost somewhere in the trees and thicket and down through the poison ivy. It was during one of these searches that I vowed to the Lord above that if I ever earned enough money I would never set foot on a course again.

— Art Buchwald